As I slowly progress further into the final year of my studies in TP, I'm constantly hounded by the thought "What next?" Every other day, my parents will ask me what do I intend to pursue in Uni, then they will bring up "Oh So-and-So Uni offers an accounting degree!" In school, we occasionally have informational talks about job prospects in the accounting career. But...
Just a few years ago, accounting was a subject I actually found joy in doing. The satisfaction in balancing that balance sheet, all you fellow accounting students out there will understand. Fast forward a few years, and boy am I struggling. I no longer balance my balance sheets, I have difficulties doing well despite studying hard. I'm not the worst in the cohort, but I'm almost there.
Then I stop to think, am I stupid? Why is it so hard for me to do well, when there are others who excel effortlessly? Why can't I grasp concepts as quickly as others? I knew that I wasn't the brightest child, but I never once thought that I was a stupid. However, coming to Poly has made me feel like I was wrong about myself all along. A huge part of my demoralisation is attributed to comparing myself to the smart ones, which in this case, is 80% of the cohort. It feels horrible to lag behind, and I'm not the type to find the will to keep going in an environment that only brings me down.
I know that Uni is only going to get tougher, faster, more unforgiving, competitive. And I have decided that this isn't the path I want to take. Over the years, partly due to the fact that my hard work has never paid off, my interests for accounting have run dry. I want to pursue something I truly enjoy.
One thing I know for sure is that I like to write. Prior to being exposed to the internet, I always penned my thoughts and daily happenings in diaries. I created my first blog when I was 9 (I think hotmail erased my old email though), and I have been blogging ever since. Writing journals and compositions in school has always excited me. I had once attempted to write a novel with a friend, though we never got round to finishing it. I know it's not much, I don't dare to say that I have a burning passion for writing, lest I get punched by budding authors out there, but it has been something I enjoyed doing leisurely for as long as I can remember.
You're probably thinking that I'm a shitty writer. Well I think so too.
