Well anyway, I can't sleep and whenever that happens, I start pondering about things. Like anything and everything. Mostly about things that have emotional effect on me right now.
People... Family... Friendships... Self-worth... Big things... Trivial things...
And something that has been bugging me a lot recently is friendship. I don't have many friends, but I don't have too little friends either. I have a good amount of friends that I connect well with. Well recently, I've felt that a few of my friends have changed so much, to the point where they are almost missing from your lives. You don't even recognize them anymore. And I don't feel like I'm allowed to feel disappointed because they probably think nothing of it but I do.
People always change, it's so inevitable. We change with the places we go and the people we meet. And I wonder in what ways have I changed, for the better or for the worse? I hope my friends don't think that I'm the detached friend whom they don't recognize anymore.
Because to me, I feel like I'm still the same old me. My characteristics and personality have not changed. Maybe I've just become more extroverted and dare to show a little more of who I really am. Maybe it has always been a part of me that has only just been discovered... Or maybe that's just how I feel.
On to some big things... It's the new year! My cliche new year's resolution is to lose weight. And I'm being pretty serious about it. People discourage calorie tracking but I love food so much that tracking my calories is the only way I'm going to be able to scare myself. I am also taking up yoga with Tzehui and maybe Jez. I've finally found a form of exercise I don't hate and I hope I can follow through with it for at least half a year.
It's late, I'm going to regret this in the morning when I have to wake up.
By the way, if anyone actually still reads this space, I blog at dayre.me/pandemonium quite often now as it's much easier to post pictures on the spot :)