The first week of school has been an emotional roller coaster ride. I kicked start the week with pre-school jitters. I would literally be shaking from anxiety. I was just a complete mess on the first few days. On top of that, we started to get back our test results one by one. My grades aren't exactly satisfactory and I just can't help but beat myself up over it. I have studied hard but my efforts never show. And there I have friends who don't even have to put in half the effort and they do so much better, well that's encouraging...
Also, I have put on so much weight over my poly years, because of all the studying at fast food joints. I've become so fucking obese. I am at such a low point in my life right now. I constantly feel like I've screwed my life over, and there is no turning back now.
But after getting back my last paper yesterday, I was overjoyed. Although it wasn't a subject I enjoyed, but I did well enough. Finally, the first time in this whole week, I didn't feel so bad about myself.
Starting today, I'm going on the cabbage soup diet with my sister. I am determined to lose weight, pick up yoga, eat healthy and quit being the fatty I've always been. I am also determined to study harder, because I know that if I'm not as smart as everyone else, then I'll just have to put in twice, thrice or quadruple the effort. Things can only look up from here.
I'm just going to enjoy the last bit of what's left of tonight, then head to bed and wake up to a brand new start.