I'm crying so terribly. My eyes are so swollen that I can barely keep them open. I feel so torn, all worn out, and helpless. I'm feeling so lonely because I'm forced to push everyone away. I'm not allowed to let how I feel be known. The one who used to care the most probably doesn't care as much anymore. The people I love think I don't trust them with my problems.
It's not that. It's really not like this. I trust all of you with whatever's left of my weary heart. But I'm being put in this fucking fucking fucking spot where I can't explain how I feel. Don't ask me why, because I'm being put in a spot, I just can't. I can ask is for none of you to leave me. Please, stay. And if you want to go, I'm sorry you had to... It's all my own fault.
Now I feel like people are going to judge me for this post, and that they probably think that I'm 16 and what in the world can make me feel this way; I'm a person who makes a mountain out of a molehill; I'm typing all these to gain sympathy. I'm none of those. I don't even want your sympathy. I can't talk to anybody, but if I don't let it out somewhere, it's really enough pressure to make me propel myself out of my bedroom window. I just want all this to end. I don't want to go through this any longer. It's making me lose everyone else along with myself.
